Walking The Narrow Path Now: March 2015

Wow...6 7 months Home.
(I know, I'm a slacker of a blogger!)

Two years ago we were waiting to hear that we were officially matched in Bulgaria.

One year ago today we were spending our last full (See I started this on 2/15) day with our son, wondering how we'd ever say goodbye the next day and head back across the ocean without him.

6 7 months ago we walked off that airplane and, finally, finally, our whole family was together in one place. I could touch both of my sons at the same time. Tears are running down my face remembering how happy we were, how overwhelmed with gratitude we were, and still are.

Those first few days at least a hundred times a day I would look at him and silently thank God for his faithfulness. That empty space in our family was gone, the shadow of a child that I carried in my heart for 18 months was here in the flesh and my heart was overjoyed.

Those first few weeks he was rarely far from my reach. I constantly wanted to touch him, tousle his hair, hug him, talk to him.

Those first few weeks were beautiful and happy, they were also hard and at times heartbreaking. Ian was 8 and a half when he came home. 8 years of living in institutionalized settings. 8 years of caregivers who changed with the hands of the clock. 8 years of survival of the fittest living.

We've learned a lot about those first years of his life since he's been home. I'm sure there's a lot still left to learn. It comes out here in there in bits and pieces, in words that rip this mama's heart to shreds. Words that have made me so angry I wanted to cross the ocean and hit someone. I know that's not very Christ like to say, but, it's true. I pray for those people, for the children still there in those places, for change, for peace, for families to step forward.

Our boy has a smile and laugh that are contagious.

Our boy gets a haunted look in his eyes sometimes that will pierce your soul.

I promise I didn't mean to neglect this blog for so long. I couldn't wait to blog all about our pick up trip and those first few weeks home. But, well, life happened. I was exhausted. We were cocooning, we were busy with numerous doctors appointments and testing. We were adjusting to our new normal.

6 months.

On one hand it seems like that time has flown by. On the other it feels like Ian has always been a part of our family, and I guess in a way he has. The One who writes all of our stories knew he would be our son before he was even born.

Well I'm rambling so I'll wrap it up.

Ian has made beautiful, amazing, crazy progress since coming home!

His English is beautiful, though part of me hopes he always keeps that Bulgarian accent that I love.

He has gotten to experience so many firsts, and we're thankful that he's doing it as a part of our family! He and Nick are getting along just like brothers! Ian is helping Nick to be more responsible, Nick's helping Ian to learn to just be a kid.

Willing to brave the ocean waves, as long as Daddy didn't let go.